Dienstag, 22. April 2025
SURREXIT DOMINUS VERE! RIP Onkel Abt!
Dienstag, 2. Januar 2024
A Princely Farewell
Kary Schwarzenberg (1937-2023) was the last of his kind. I attended his Requiem Mass which was celebrated in Vienna's Stephansdom shortly before Christmas.
Here is what I wrote about it for Zurich's daily NZZ.
Onkel Kary will be greatly missed. As is often the case with intellectual giants, his perception in the public differed from the one in his own family. The film his daughter Lila made about their difficult relationship bears witness to that.
I highly recommend it. You will have to find out how to stream it in your region, in some countries "Mein Vater der Fürst" is available on Amazon Prime.
Sonntag, 13. August 2023
#ServusHarry Eine deutsch-englische Liebesgeschichte
Die Mail hat mich gebeten, für ihre Sonntagsausgabe ein paar Gedanken zum Thema deutsch-englische Beziehungen beizusteuern. Der Anlass ist der Wechsel des Teamcaptains der englischen Fußball-Nationalelf von Tottenham Hotspurs in London zum FC Bayern nach München. Man versteht den Text besser, wenn man die Fawlty-Towers-Folge "The Germans" kennt.
Hier die ungekürzte Fassung meines Beitrags in der Mail on Sunday:
Don’t mention the war? It is hard to avoid when discussing Anglo-German affairs – and discuss them we must as this is a defining moment. We are witnessing history in the making. England’s football idol number one, the captain of the Three Lions’, Harry – or shall we now say Harald? – Kane is joining Germany’s most glorious football club Bayern Munich.
The circumstances of his arrival in Munich on Friday night had epic qualities and will be talked about for years to come. After weeks and weeks of nail-biting negotiations, after last-minute interventions from various invested parties that almost killed the deal, after a mysterious hold-up at the airport of the private jet supposed to take England’s captain to Germany, Kane finally touched down in country with virtually every news outlet out there following and reporting his every step as if it was the Pope, the President and possibly even Elvis Presley who was going to step out of that plane at Oberpaffenhofen airport near Munich. Germany is celebrating the arrival of England’s football captain like a moon-landing.
Willkommen, Herr Kane! This is a historic moment! Not since the Beatles (who, by the way, started their career in Hamburg) has anyone from your isles created such a buzz over here.
This juncture in Anglo-German affairs seems like a good moment to put old rivalries – from beach towel tussels to Brexit – aside to celebrate what really is the world’s most intriguing love-hate-relationship, a relationship so strong and fraught with consequences that it has shaped today’s world like no other.
My first love was an English rose (of German-Jewish descent), my best friend is a born and bred Londoner (an Arsenal supporter regrettably), I went to school and studied in your country, my heart jumps joyfully every time I put my foot on your shores, yet I never try to hide my Germanness and my German accent when I visit, feeling like the living proof of the affinity of both our cultures. I am German. In fact, I am Saxon. We Saxons are regarded as the most German of the Germans. A bit too serious and a bit too eccentric in the eyes of most. The crazy genius composer Richard Wagner was from Saxony. As was Martin Luther. And Caspar David Friedrich whose eerie Romantic landscape paintings showing tiny humans dwarfed by the elements allow a glimpse into our love for the irrational and our strange fascination with nature.
But, then again, as a Saxon am I not quintessentially English? At school we were taught that the lands that around the year 900 gradually came to be known as “Englalonde” were originally inhabited by various Germanic tribes, most notably Saxons, Franks, Frisians, Angles and Jutes. So are the English really Germans? It’s not quite as simple as that.
When the troops of Julius Caesar entered the shores of what the Greeks called “Bretaniki” at 55 BC they found a great variety of tribes. When the Romans left again, roughly 500 years later, the population of South-East England, having enjoyed the civilized life of Roman culture for generations, took a dim view of those they called barbarians who started coming in from the north and threatened their lush, latinised way of life with their hot baths and massages and theatres and all that. Where did they appeal for help? The Romans were busy with their own empire falling apart so they, according to the works of Gildas the Wise, the only substantial source for history of this time, the Romanized Brits reached out to their closest relatives on the continent: the Saxons and Angles, Germanic tribes in what is now the north of Germany.
So, when we Germans started moving in from around 500 AD, we did that – I must insist – because we were asked to. It was definitely no invasion! In fact we were supposed to help fend off invasions from Celts and Picts and all that northern lot.
As is often the case with relatives moving in, they outstay their welcome or, even worse, make the rest of the family come over and move in as well. That’s regrettably what we did. The English Channel already then was a very poor natural hindrance for undesired immigration. The ease with which one could cross it from Saxon territory at Germany’s northern coast allowed not only warriors but whole tribes and families to make the move. The show of force must have been so overwhelming, the cultural supersession so complete, that, rather like British colonialists in ages closer to our own, local Roman customs and languages disappeared and were replaced by Anglo-Saxon ones. Until, roughly another 500 years later the Normans arrived and added another layer of cultural diversification.
So, in essence, just as the German tribe of the Franks that moved west across the Rhine became the French, the German tribes that came across the Channel, the Angles and the Saxons became the English.
Why though, if we are that closely related, do we squabble so much? I believe it is because we are too closely related and hence simply too similar. Just as most of us are irritated when hearing one’s own recorded voice, we see our own flaws in those who are closest. The tussle of the beach towels between Krauts and Brits, one of the most die-hard Anglo-German clichés, is a case in point. We are so similar, that we do exactly the same things (including ending up with embarrassing sunburns) and tend to deride each other for it. It is a bit like laughing at one’s mirror image really.
Also, the closer you are, the more you are prone to envy.
When Kaiser Wilhelm, Germany’s last reigning monarch, ambitiously started building up his navy and founded colonies in far-flung corners of the world, he was driven by envy. He aspired to be on eye level with the British Empire. He wanted Germany to be more like Britain. He adored his grandmother Queen Victoria and loved wearing his British Army uniform (he held the honorary position of colonel-in-chief of the 1st Royal Dragoons). The First World War gave Britain the opportunity to put Germany back in its place. When Germany rose again and Hitler came to power, the feeling of abhorrence was anything but unanimous. There were many prominent figures, in the establishment, among the workers, in government and right up into the highest royal circles who sympathized with Germany during the early years of the Third Reich. But: Shht! This is not something one should dwell on festive occasions like this, I mentioned it once, I think I got away with it alright, as Fawlty the Great would put it. What I actually want to say is: We are frightfully similar. Frightful in the most literal sense sometimes.
It takes one to know one. Maybe that is why Margaret Thatcher was not exactly delighted when the Berlin Wall fell in 1989. "We beat the Germans twice, and now they're back”, she said after Helmut Kohl unveiled his 10-point-plan for German reunification one month after the wall’s fall. I was friends with Britain’s ambassador at the time, Sir Christopher Mallaby. Years later he told me how he pleaded with the then-Foreign Minister Douglas Hurd for Britain to show support and not to resist history – Hurd agreed and pleaded with Mrs. Thatcher as well. To no avail. She remained a bitter opponent of German reunification. Ralf Dahrendorf, the German philosopher who taught at Oxford, told me in an interview at the time: “I fully understand Mister Thatcher.” Why, I asked. He answered by posing a question and giving the answer himself: “Do you know why Germans are so keen about building a ever more united Europe? Because Germany is afraid of its own power and wants to be tied down in supranational structure like the EU. Of course you distrusts someone who has fear of himself.” Dahrendorf was certainly one of the view of understood both, the Germans and the English. Today, modern Germans can simply not comprehend why a country would hesitate to sign away what in their eyes are abstract notions like sovereignty. Just like Merkel did not get Boris Johnson. Merkel hated Boris, to be precise. He was too flamboyant for her taste. But there was also a whiff of envy in the way figures of the German political establishment like Merkel looked at Boris. Germans prefer their politicians to be dull. Listening to our chancellor, Olaf Scholz, is about as inspiring as having someone read out the user manual of a Miele appliance. Hence we envy you for the sense of entertainment that engulfs even your political sphere, while you envy us for politicians who are a little bit dull but do to get things done. The grass is always greener on the other side…
There is one thing though that we absolutely do not have and have reason to envy you for: Love for tradition and the respect for one’s own culture and history. The pictures of the Queen’s state funeral made us shiver in respect and painfully aware of the old anti-republican witticism: “There are no fairy tales about presidents.” When King Charles chose Germany for his first state visit, our cities stood still in awe for the occasion and when the King, in a gesture nobody thought possible, came to Hamburg and laid a wreath at the ruins of St Nikolai church, a little-known memorial site for the civilian victims of the air raids carried out by the RAF, the German media was so astonished that they tried to play down the significance.
Here is another reason why we Krauts love you Brits! For obvious reasons, we have difficulties embracing large junks of our history and heritage, so we love you, our closest relatives, your history, your heritage, your way of celebrating the pride you have for your nation, the way also you celebrate football because we do not dare to love ourselves.
Moments like these when we can stand side by side to cheer on the same team therefore feel like a relief. And cheer on together we will. Just you wait until Bayern faces some Spanish or Italian football giant in the Champions League with Harry Kane up front. Even Spurs supporters, after some understandable heartache, have reasons to join in cheering for Bayern with Kane, given the proud Jewish heritage of both clubs. Of both clubs? Indeed. Bayern Munich was originally founded by a circle of mainly Jewish football enthusiasts, one of the first chairmen was the Jewish businessman Kurt Landauer who was put in the Dachau concentration camp by the Nazis and managed to flee to Switzerland before returning after the war to rebuild the club from ruins.
My most beloved tenant at Fawlty Towers has always been the Major. A gentleman to my liking, slightly deluded and always friendly. But his dictum “Bunch of Krauts, that's what they are, all of 'em. Bad eggs!” is not true. Landauer for one was no bad egg and his FC Bayern is a fantastic choice for an English lad from north London. And the fact that the fourth child of Mr. and Mrs. Kane will be a “Munich kindl” – as the children of this beautiful town are known – puts a huge smile not only on my face.
Donnerstag, 20. Juli 2023
Roar and Order in Berlin's suburbs
For a while now I have been living outside of Berlin in a quaint neighbourhood called Stahnsdorf. My impuls this morning to drive into town to pop into my newspaper's office went quickly out of the window when I learned that staying at home might be more newsworthy. There is an app called NINA on my iPhone which is supposed to set off an alarm in case of floods or similar catastrophic events - this morning it had set off this warning:
"Cat of prey on the loose." The app (sceenshot below) showed me in the centre of the area in question.
I switched on the radio. There they said to stay indoors and to lock up one's pets. A big cat, apparently! A lioness! There is a circus nearby, but it quickly transpired that they were not missing any lions. Later, there was a zooogist on Berlin's local TV station, explaining that the mob, those who have made it and live in villas at the southern fringes of town, are known for keeping exotic pets illegally. They are being supplied these poor animals "from Rumanian sources", apparently. There was heavily armed police everywhere, helicopters searching the fields from above, streets and woods were cordoned off.
And me in the very center of the paramater. So my dog and I went for a little safari afternoon and later filed this report to my paper. The airgun I am carrying for ornamental reasons only. P.S.: The big cat turned out to be a wild boar.
Samstag, 13. Mai 2023
Hunger gestillt bei #FelixJud in Hamburg
„Diese Buchhandlung ist mein intellektuelles Delikatessengeschäft, ohne sie würde ich verhungern.“
Das sagte Karl Lagerfeld über Hamburgs berühmte Buchhandlung Felix Jud. Es ist – noch vor John Sandoe in London – meine absolut liebste Buchhandlung.
Ich durfte dort in der zurückliegenden Woche mein aktuelles Buch "Was bleibt, was wird – Die Queen und ihr Erbe" vorstellen.
Ich danke Robert Eberhardt und Marina Krauth für ihr großzügige Gastfreundschaft an dem Abend, der aufs Gemütlichste im Café de Paris bei allerlei Tartare-Variationen endete.
Robert Eberhardt führt nicht nur fort, was Wilfried Weber aufgebaut hat, er verhilft diesem Schlaraffenland für Bibliophile zu neuer Blüte. Er schafft dies, weil er verstärkt auf das zweite Standbein des Geschäftes baut – den Handel mit wertvollen Erstausgaben und antiquarischen Leckerbissen.
Man kann von dort aber natürlich auch seine ganz normale, regelmäßige Bücher-Ration beziehen. So hat es auch Karl Lagerfeld gehandhabt, der, egal wo auf der Welt er sich aufhielt, sich seine Bücher von Jud in Hamburg schicken ließ. Der Webshop von Felix Jud funktioniert genauso einfach wie Amazon (nur ohne dass Jeff Bezos was davon abbekommt).
Hier ein paar Fotos, die am Abend meiner Lesung entstanden sind.
Mit meiner verehrten Nessrin Königsegg
(c) Robert Eberhard
Freitag, 10. März 2023
Samstag, 8. Oktober 2022
Out in Africa
Bis auf auf weiteres halte ich mich in Afrika auf. Deswegen wird hier auf absehbare Zeit nichts gepostet werden. Ich muss mich schließlich konzentrieren (schreibe an einem neuen Buch). Im übrigen, so habe ich mich neulich von Katja Riemann ermahnen lassen, klingt es arrogant und ahnungslos, wenn man von "Afrika" spricht. Besser sei "afrikanischer Kontinent". Mmh. Da der recht groß ist, hier zur Präzision: Ich halte mich in der Region Laikipia (Kenia) auf, nur wenige Meter entfernt vom Äquator, somit recht nah an meinem Geburtsort.
Freitag, 9. September 2022
RIP ERII
Wir haben es mit einer Zäsur zu tun, deren Ausmaß wir erst mit gehörigem Abstand begreifen werden. Hier mein Nachruf in BILD.
Mittwoch, 8. Juni 2022
Etwas Feige
Aus aktuellem Anlass (Spargel-Notstand) wurde ich gebeten, ein paar Gedanken zum Thema Spargeln in BILD zu Papier zu bringen.
Das Resultat ist etwas fad. Reizvoller und vor allem aktueller wäre es gewesen, ich hätte – natürlich angemessen mitfühlend – die Geschichte einer Spargelstange einfließen lassen, die der Überzeugung ist, eigentlich eine Feige zu sein.
Das traue ich mich aber beim gegenwärtigen Meinungsklima leider nicht.
Mittwoch, 19. Januar 2022
The bottom of the page
The TIMES very kindly asked me to weigh in on their debate about whether Boris Johnson should stay on as Prime Minister (see below). It was printed at the bottom of the page.
Which reminds of this little anecdote:
It was Baron Boothby (1900-1986), a famous Conservative politician and an even more famous homosexual, who once stayed at Claridge's in London, and created some stir when young male pages would vanish for longer than expected after delivering champagne to his suite. At one point the concerned concierge decided to intervene. He stormed to his door and insisted for His Lordship to open it. Boothby refused, claiming he was reading a book – and that he needed to concentrate.
The concierge kept insisting: "I will be forced to break down the door, Sir, if you don't open immediately!"
"Don't worry!", Lord Boothby replied, "I will open the door. Once I'm done with the bottom of the page!"
Here is my little article at the bottom of the page – with a little stain. It looks like a mouse's brain (no pun intended, obviously), it's a watermark.
Donnerstag, 6. Januar 2022
Freitag, 24. Dezember 2021
#Weihnachten – der letzte Fixstern
Lest bitte unbedingt Benedict Neffs Weihnachts-Leitartikel in der NZZ. Am besten nicht online, sondern die knisternde Zeitung in der Hand (dazu ein Eggnogg?).
Es ist Benedicts erster Weihnachts-Leitartikel als neu bestallter NZZ-Feuilleton-Chef. Der erste Absatz brachte mich zum Lachen, in den folgenden kamen mir die Tränen, nicht sprichwörtlich, sondern IRL.
Und hier noch ein paar Worte, die ich im Austausch mit meinem Freund M.M. erarbeitet, aber nie veröffentlicht habe - meine Tochter ist der Meinung, der Ton sei ein wenig siebengescheit.
Mit seinem berühmten Satz
„… das Schöne ist nichts als des Schrecklichen Anfang …“
hat Rilke vermutlich Weihnachten im Sinn.
Wir alle kennen das, alle Jahre wieder: Man freut sich auf das frohe Fest im Kreise der Familie und kurz danach liegt man sich in den Haaren.
Rilkes Vers geht so weiter: „… den wir noch grade ertragen.“
Und damit sind wir schon mitten im Thema. Weihnachten ist das Fest der Liebe. Aber Liebe bedeutet nicht, dass man fortwährend auf Kuschelkurs ist, sondern vor allem damit, dass man sich gegenseitig zu ertragen bereit ist. Die treffendste Liebeserklärung überhaupt bietet die deutsche Sprache mit folgender Formulierung: „Ich kann dich gut leiden.“ Im Sinne von erleiden.
* * *
Wir verkitschen die Liebe.
Es muss immer alles eitel Sonnenschein sein. Ein gewaltiges Missverständnis.
Das Wort Liebe hat viele Facetten.
Der Eros, die körperliche Anziehung, ist nur eine von vielen. Ihn zum alleinigen Basis einer Ehe zu machen, ist zum Beispiel ein Fehler. Dafür ist er, der Eros, zu flüchtig, zu launisch. In der ganzen Geschichte der Menschheit bis zum Beginn des bürgerlichen Zeitalters, welches man auch das individualistische Zeitalter nennen könnte, hat der moderne, vom Eros bestimmte, Liebesbegriff für die Ehe nicht die geringste Rolle gespielt.
Joseph hat sich nicht in Maria verliebt, bevor er um ihre Hand anhielt.
Mit Gewissheit haben sich die Familien zusammengetan und festgestellt, dass dies ein passendes Paar sein könnte. Liebe als erotische Begeisterung, physische Attraktion, Hingerissenheit vom anderen hat von der Steinzeit bis weit in unsere Epoche hinein als Grund für eine Ehe und als Bedingung ihrer Dauer überhaupt keine Bedeutung gehabt. Romeo und Julia sind, ebenso wie Tristan und Isolde, wenn man genau hinsieht, Beispiele einer Katastrophe, nicht ein wünschenswertes Ideal.
Eheliche Liebe ist christlich gesehen vor allem Teilnahme der Menschen am Schöpfungswerk Gottes. Die damit verbundenen Forderungen an Solidarität und Treue sind sehr nüchtern und dienen der Stabilität der Familie und der Gesellschaft.
Kurz gesagt: Ertragt einander!
Mittwoch, 10. November 2021
Freitag, 1. Oktober 2021
Montag, 19. Juli 2021
Wrecking Ball Francis
Wenn – weil er angeblich veraltet ist – ein uralter Ritus der Sufis oder ein zen-buddhistische oder zoroastrische Liturgieform von irgendwelchen Autoritäten verboten werden würde (denn es ist de facto ein Verbot, was dieses Motu proprio des Heiligen Vaters hinsichtlich des Tridentinischen Ritus der Römisch-Katholischen Kirche erwirkt, hier die deutsche Presse-Verlautbarung des Vatikan), würde dies die Weltöffentlichkeit zu Recht als Akt des kulturellen Vandalismus beklagen.
Vielleicht täte man gut daran, den sogenannten "lateinisch" Ritus einfach unter das Dach des zu bewahrenden Weltkulturerbes zu stellen. Stand jetzt wäre er unter den Auspizien der UNESCO sicherer als unter jenen des gegenwärtigen Nachfolger Petri.
Hier ein interessanter Podcast zu dem Thema aus der "Holy Smoke"-Reihe des "Spectator" und hier ein Text von Tim Stanley aus eben jener Wochenzeitschrift (leider hinter der Pay Wall). In wenigen Tagen wird sich (vermutlich) auch Ross Douthat in der NYT zu Wort melden. Ich schiebe das dann ggf. hier ______ nach.
Und hier noch meine WSNLM-Kolumne in der gedruckten BILD, in der ich das Thema streife:
Mittwoch, 13. Januar 2021
Carl Laszlo – Der Basler Beatnik
Die 3sat-Kulturzeit hat heute einen sehr schönen Beitrag über meinen 2013 verstorbenen Freund Carl Laszlo und dessen neu aufgelegtes Buch "Ferien am Waldsee" gesendet. Please watch, HIER klicken!
Sonntag, 10. Januar 2021
Freitag, 8. Januar 2021
In eigener Sache
Dienstag, 29. Dezember 2020
Done and dusted #Brexit
Huge relief for Britain. Huge triumph for Boris. All the doom mongers have been proven wrong. As everyone is fed up with this subject after four gruesome years, here are – for the very last time – a few words on the dreaded subject #Brexit written from German perspective.
By the way: We Germans gladly take the credit for having rescued the deal – however Merkel's role tends to be overestimated. She remained astoundingly hands off in this whole affair. Apparently Her Majesty's Ambassador in Berlin, Sir Sebastian Wood, had asked several times for a meeting with the Chancellor's EU-policy adviser and was rebuffed every time. Then again: Frau Merkel's style of governing is not famed for its' transparency. Her modus operandi is invisible. Furthermore, there is no denying that German EU diplomacy (and possibly even the personal rapport between BJ and UvdL) played a role in making the French climb down from some of their more ambitious demands.
If you ask me, to the largest extent this success is due to the fact though that Brussels was faced with a credible Brexiteer PM whose determination to walk away from the talks remained real until the very last moment, a PM with an overwhelming majority in the Commons, someone they could not push around like his predecessors. All this plus the determination of the UK negotiating team headed by the remarkable Sir David Frost.
So here it is: My last piece ever on #Brexit. It is in German, so shove it through GoogleTranslate, you will get the gist of it. And here is another one for the Daily Mail on why it took a flamboyant disrupter to end years – no decades – of agony about if and how the UK should be part of the European project. Finally, there is certainty and we can turn our attention to more pressing matters.
Below you find my lead editorial in today's BILD blowing Boris's trumpet.
Here is a rough translation:
World history has just happened in the shadow of the Corona crisis. Britain’s Prime Minister Boris Johnson, often ridiculed by our opinionated elite as a juggler and joker, has led his country out of the EU. And that without being forced into economic self-mutilation.
For years, all supposedly sensible pundits have told us that Brexit will mean doom for Britain. Now they have to eat their words.
What does that tell us?
Two things: politicians like Johnson who don't fit into the technocrat’s grit are those who sometimes are able to make the impossible possible. Just because someone has tangled hair, wears funny ties, and speaks the language of the regulars doesn't mean they can't be a statesman of historic importance.
The second thing: Let us remain skeptical when doom mongers predict that everything will go down the drain if we do not listen to them at once. They are almost always wrong.






















